Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I cuss, you cuss...

We all cuss for asparagus!

I've always thought that Far Side comic was funny. Gary Larson was pure genius. So, imagine my amusement this morning when I'm reading through the sports news and I see that William and Mary is considering making their mascot an asparagus stalk. I'm amused by silly mascots, being that my own alma mater was represented by a color (the "Maroons"). I had thought that Stanford choosing a tree was already pretty low on the sporting mascot scale, but a college giving serious consideration to a vegetable (which a lot of people don't like) as a mascot... well, that's a recipe for ridicule.

A stalk of asparagus blown up to a life size mascot is going to look like a large green phallus. I can already see the references to limp vegetables making it into rival school sports commentaries. And if I thought of Gary Larson when I heard this news, I know it's probably not a very original brainchild. Someone out there is going to paste the school into a rendition of the comic. Finally, does anyone really want to have their team be known as the "Fighting Asparaguses"? It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue or instill much fear into the hearts of the opposing teams.


Avitable said...

Is the plural of asparagus "asparagus" or "asparagi" or "asparaguses"?

One of life's little mysteries.

jkuo said...

I actually had to look it up, since I always thought that only words ending in "-ius" got the "-i" pluralization. Turns out English is so fungible that no one actually follows the Latin rules for the "-i" pluralization or any standard pluralization scheme. At any rate, the fighting "asparagi" or "asparagus" sound equally stupid.